Recently I found myself in a few chats with different people about partnerships, work, life dreams. And in one, in particular, I felt such a turnaround, such an aha moment. Goosebumps all over. Words that have has been in my heart ever since.
We all have ideas and wishes about how we want our life to look and feel like – maybe not straight away but once you take time to practice visualization those images will pop up. We know how our ideal job is going to be. We have a lot of checkmarks about how we want our partner to be like. Some of them are non-negotiable, being different for every one of us. My partner should treat me with respect, shouldn’t he? That’s non-negotiable for me. And with those:
Don’t settle for less than what you deserve.
Don’t settle for anything that isn’t right for you.
Ahhh and this is important: what is right for YOU! Not me. While I understood that I will not settle for a partner who doesn’t respect and support my creative work and my dreams around this right here, this might not be as important for you. Over time, with the growing experience, we all have, we will become more and more aware of what those non-negotiables are for us.
But of course, there are things that are less important to us, that we are willing to negotiate. And that we should always have in mind: Life sometimes needs a little compromise, there are things, for instance in partnerships, that you will need to find a compromise about, one you feel good about. But with those big important things?
You have dreams, ideas about how you want your life to be. You are allowed to have them. Everyone is.
We all have dreams. Big dreams. We are all aiming for something. A corner office. Owning a fabulous gigantic mansion. Having six kids. Or having six dogs. Becoming widely successful with your own business. That big beautiful wedding. Finding your Mr. X. Writing a book, writing ten books.
Dreams are what makes us keep pushing forward. To keep taking action. To keep going one step after another.
Don’t settle for a boyfriend/girlfriend who isn’t giving you what you deserve.
Don’t settle for a job that doesn’t fulfill you.
Let your dreams become the motor of all of your actions. Believe in your dreams. Dream big. Trust that you will reach them. Overtime. No one said they will be fulfilled tomorrow. Why shouldn’t your dreams be fulfilled when other people’s are?
Now comes the part in which I am asking you to do the work, to take a moment:
What are your non-negotiables? What is non-negotiable for you when it comes to a partner, work or any of those big life dreams?
Take a pen, write them down. Think about them. Become clear about it. And if today is a good day, ask yourself this:
Is there anything in your life right now that you are missing? In your relationship, the job you have or the direction in life you are taking? Is there any part in which you made a compromise that you don’t feel comfortable with anymore?
Then it is time now to tune with those, see if you are really happy with this, let the emotions come up that might be rising within. Even if its tears and sadness. Trust that inner wisdom that knows exactly if something isn’t right. And if it isn’t, it is time to let go.
I’ve been letting go. I’ve been adjusting. Small and big. Because I could see how some things weren’t right for me because I didn’t receive what I deserved. Remember this post, about parts of life you feel dissatisfied with? This post, and what I wrote about my productivity and how the unproductivity wasn’t serving me, it was part of it.
I am beyond grateful that a friend shared those words with me even though I didn’t want to hear them. That he dived into this conversation with me, reminding me that I deserve the best, that we all do. And so this is it, this is all I want for you and me:
I am sending you lot of love and light.