There is something our ego truly doesn’t like – the in between. The in between when you don’t know if the person you are dating is turning into a boyfriend. The in between when you don’t know if you should quit your job and search for something new. The in between of a fight and an apology when you are not fully sure if this is going to be the end of the relationship. The in between of a job search.
Oh the ego doesn’t like this phase. And it tries its very best to stop you from staying there to long. You’re restless. You’re doubtful. You worry, constantly. You can’t make up your mind. One day this, the other day that. One morning you will wake up totally convinced that he’s the one, the next morning you will know 100% that he’s not the one. One morning you will be 100% sure that you need to find a new job, the next morning you are sure that you need to stay. The ego hates this in between. And it gives it room to argument, in every way possible, even if taking one step back the arguments don’t make sense. Yet, they confuse us. They make us doubt and feel insecure.
All the ego wants is to put a label on. Single or in a relationship. Searching for a job or working for company xy. Happy or unhappy. To the ego, everything is better than the in between and as far as it’s concerned, right now everything is better than this. So to the ego it doesn’t fully matter if you stay single or if this dating turns into a relationship. And it doesn’t matter to it if you quit your job or if you stay where you are unhappy. So it will argument in all the different ways, as long as you finally make a decision.
The result? We’ll end up making movements and decisions that aren’t fully aligned with us. You will start treating your date in ways that are only trying to push him away and the next minute you will cling on to him so badly because your are so afraid of losing him. You will start sending out job applications before even investing what the possibilities might be like in the company you are already at. You will apologize to your friend, although you truly need a little time out to find your peace again.
All that this has in common is that we don’t make decisions that are truly aligned with us. We make decisions based on our ego, our fears and worries and not based on love.In all honesty, I only realized that a little while ago. This big uncomfort that the in between holds for us. This big space of ego interventions.
And I also realized this: we need that in between phase. We need it to figure out what we truly want and what we truly feel. We need this time to turn inward. To reconnect to our inner wisdom. To find the answer deep within. It’s a time of soul searching. Sometimes it’s for a day, sometimes it’s for three months.So let’s get comfortable with the uncomfortable. But how?
Realize that this is a phase of your ego playing cray cray. Realize that it is the ego being uncomfortable, not you. Understand that the ego doesn’t have your best interest at it’s heart, for the ego everything is better than this – even if what comes after turns out to feel even worse (that’s even better for the ego as it’s constantly looking for drama).
Time is a gift
This time, this in between, it is a gift. The gift of time. This is the time you need to check in with yourself. To see if this feels aligned to your heart. To tune in to actually see how you feel. To figure things out. I know how restless we can feel, how desperately we want to figure things out, how desperately our ego is trying to put a label on. Try to look at this phase as a gift, as something magical, as a time that is truly beautiful and a chance for you to learn and to grow.
Get comfortable in the uncomfortable.
As soon as you realize that it’s the ego getting crazy about decision making and not you, you will immediately feel a sense of peace rush over you. That comes from your heart. It is trying to show you that there is a better way. A more peaceful way. You’ve got to listen. Decide it now. Let the ego go and listen to your heart. Believe.
Believe in all the opportunities ahead.
There are a million different ways this will all turn out. Ways that are far beyond our power or understanding. Be willing to experience this. Be willing to be guided to a miracle. Be willing to be guided to exactly what is supposed to be.
You don’t know what’s ahead, knowing this is far beyond our power. Yes we make plans, but who didn’t experience at least once that they turned out in a totally different way? We all did, didn’t we? So sure we shall make plans, to motivate ourselves, to get things done, but we must be open and willing to experience whatever lies ahead. We have to trust. Trust that something out there has our back. The Universe, God, Allah, Buddha, Angels. You name it. Something has your back. There is a plan for you out there far beyond your own understanding. Trust that everything is working in your favour.
It ain’t always easy. I know. It isn’t easy to enjoy this phase of the in between. And it isn’t easy to choose love over fear, to choose your inner wisdom over your ego. Sometimes we might not be able to get ourselves out of the drama. That is okay. Don’t get caught up about it. Move on. The moment you become aware of this, the moment you start to understand things are about to change. You are about to change because your mindset is about to change. It’s a beautiful work lying ahead of you. Beautiful and truly magical.
Turn this so often negative phase in something beautiful. This is a season where you can create change, where you can work on the ship you are the captain of , the ship of your life. Not knowing what’s ahead can be beautiful. Expect miracles. It will all work out. It will all turn out into something beautiful. It is beautiful right here and there. Allow yourself to experience this from a happy place – no matter what your ego, your family or friends say about it. You have that inner power to create a beautiful change.
If you are in an in between phase, know that you’re not alone.
The Universe has your back.
And if you are, let us know in the comments below. Let us be in this together, let us chat about the phases we are in. The comment section is always there for you, open to carry the weight because you don’t have to carry it by yourself. Let’s carry it together.