There are those days.
When you feel like you can’t.
When your ego takes over.
When the stories it says overshadow everything.
When by the end of the day you begin to feel a little bit smaller, a little bit less confident, a little bit less fulfilled, a little bit less anchored.
Those days happen. To all of us. This is nothing only you experience. And of course I had my fair amount of experiences with it. Over time I created a practice, a simple exercise for those days, those moments. And I had completely forgotten about it, until one night this week when I was set down at the kitchen table with an infra red light behind me, trying to heal my neck. It had been one of those days. I had been feeling a little bit of. Very tensed. Snappy. Judgemental. Maybe because I am right now coaching about the ego I was so aware of my own. So as I was set there at the table with my journal I remembered what I had been doing in the past, especially at first when I started to get to know my ego.
I’ve said it before and I say it again. Your ego isn’t your enemy. (If you just stumbled upon this post, you might want to head HERE first to know what I mean when I talk about the ego). The ego is your friend. All it wants is to keep you safe. Very safe. And for that we can be grateful. Immensely grateful. It is just, that his trying to keep you safe most probably won’t get you to move forward, which I know you want to do. So just as when your friend tells you to do x, you don’t necessarily do it, you don’t have to do what your ego says. And this is where the magic lies. To become aware of the stories the ego says in order to step in and make a change. Because although you might think you can’t, you actually have the power to create a change, to step in and to take over. Your ego doesn’t have to rule the show. YOU rule the show. And it is time to get that power back.
Alright with that being said, let’s go back. It’s funny though…I can’t write about the ego, without having a little rant about what it actually is…maybe I should add to my „About Me“ something like „passionate ego writer“.
Let’s stay with the metaphor of the ego being your friend for a moment. When you friend has something on her mind, you listen, right? We have to do the same thing with the ego. You have to listen. And this is were the exercise lies. The goal is to give your ego room, to listen to what he has to say and to get it out of your mind. And for that you need pen and paper.
Take a moment, on any day and maybe especially when you feel you had a bit too much ego time, and list out every single thing you recall your ego say.
Let me add an example from my own journal entry to make it a little more vivid to you. At the top I simply add a „Ego Thoughts“ and then I note down every single thing that I can recall that went on in my mind that day.
- You don’t have enough money.
- There must be something wrong with you because you’d rather spend the day by yourself then with someone else.
- What if the tips you give your clients don’t work?
- You will never be able to get a coaching certificate.
Note how I write in „you“. That’s because that is what the ego told me and I see the ego almost as a separate person, so he talked to me , addresses me with a you and therefore the use of „you“. That day my list consisted of 11 things. Some days its 21. Some its 1. There is no right or wrong here. Let yourself write until you can’t focus on anything anymore. Write until the magic begins…
Just as each and everyone one of us has an ego, we also all have an intuition, an inner guidance system, a source of love and power within. And that inner guide, it will come to your rescue. As you are writing all of your ego’s thought, you will feel another voice rise within. A voice of love. Compassion. Guidance. Listen to it, closely. If you allowed your ego to speak enough, you will start to want to drop writing this negative chitchat and instead want to answer to yourself with love. That is your intuition, you inner guide speaking up! Listen in. And allow those words to be heard. Write your love answer. What ever comes to your mind, write it down. It could look like this
„Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Open your heart. To all of the possibilities. Nothing of this is real. It is a story. A story you can always change. You know that you are here to shine your light. And that is all you need to do…“
This could be your love answer. Or maybe it looks completely different. There is no write or wrong. Again write until you feel there are no more words left.
Do you feel that sense of peace wash over you? Do you feel a newborn sense of calm?
That’s what this exercise does for me and I am hoping it will do for you. It doesn’t even take much time to do. I feel as if I wrote a lot and we might be a little lost right now. Let me sum it up.
- Let you ego write. Give your ego room. Listen to what stories, what belief system he told you today. And write until there is nothing left to say. Until you feel…
- …a source of love rise up. There will be a turning point in which you move from ego, negativity and holding yourself back to a sense of love and peace come up. You will catch yourself want to answer to what your ego just wrote – something like „well that just doesn’t make sense.“ Or „I know I am stronger than what I just wrote.“ That is your intuition. Your inner guide.
- Write your love answer. Let your intuition, your inner guide, let it speak. Give it room and write down all the beautiful things she has to say about you. Write them down.
- Until there are no more words left.
Voilà. That is one of the most powerful exercises I have found to deal with the crazy of the ego. A tool to help you switch back to love. An exercise I used constantly that has helped me a lot over time to come back to love faster every time.
I hope it serves you.
Rise sister rise.
P.s. This picture was just taken a few days ago at the beautiful island Ruegen during my Summer trip…loving every minute of it.