So many thoughts lately. I am not fully sure how to put them all into words. I’ll guess we’ll see along the way…
I’ve been thinking about this space here, this blog and what it is all about, what it means to me. I was pretty surprised when I linked to a blog post from four years ago in my 2018 post about my resolutions – has it really been four years of blogging already? Somehow I can’t believe it. Then again I can. So much has changed since then, the way I write, what I write about not to mention where I am at in life. It’s beautiful, magical in its own way.
I’ve never felt fully comfortable calling myself a blogger. Yes I have a blog and yes I do write something called blog posts, yet the word blogger never fully resonated with me. The terms life coach or yes, even writer, they resonate with me much more. With those, I feel aligned. With those, I feel joy and happiness and peace and love. Last year I decided to start working as a life coach and it was clear to me that writing was part of that work, a tool, a way I use in order to share my knowledge.
There is a goal, or better say, intention I didn’t share with you in my 2018 goal blog post. As 2018 moves on and I am stepping even more into my work right here and as a life coach, I’ve decided to make it an effort to stop focusing on the numbers. You know, as someone who is trying to create an online business (no matter if you call them bloggers, influencers, social media stars) somehow at some point you start to feel the pressure about the numbers. A number on Instagram is starting to define you. You look at the number of followers, the people who watch your stories, the likes you get, the number of people who read your blog. All of a sudden the numbers matter over why you started your work in the first place and you can find yourself disliking a post you shared, one you loved a day earlier because it was honest authentic and came from your heart, because no one seemed to like it. I wouldn’t say that I always was too crazy about the numbers, I never only wrote for them, my intuition was always very involved in my writing process, but yes even my ego once in a while speaks up about the “lack of likes/followers/comments”, trying to convince you that those numbers equal my success. And I am pretty fed up with this. The same way I turned off those blue check marks in WhatsApp, I would happily love to turn off the numbers on anything social media. But you can’t, at least I don’t know how. What I can do, is to make it an effort to stop looking at it, and instead focus on building my trust, because if I peel back all of the ego layers, this is what I believe in:
You can trust your intuition.
And you can, you should follow her guidance.
Whatever you are supposed to live, you will.
You will thrive and the people who are supposed to come to you, will come to you. The moment you speak your truth, the moment you step up, the moment you will shine your light, the students will appear.
I believe that there is a reason why I feel the desire to write, to share and I am trusting this desire. And I am going to do the work. That is all I am going to do from now on: work on building an even stronger connection to my intuition, listening within, sharing what I feel “called” to share and trust that my dreams will unfold in a way bigger than what I can even imagine. Some people might call me naive, some online business expert might call me crazy, but I don’t care. This is my truth and I promised myself to follow this.
Here’s another truth I never told before. At some point in my writing career (not gonna call it blogger experience because again, doesn’t resonate with me) especially when it became clear to me that personal growth was my area of interest I got the feeling that my posts should always have a very clear message. That my post should include a “How to…” or “Ten ways…” but you know what? That’s not my style at all! I think I’ve discovered that through coaching over the last few weeks. Again, I am not the coach who as a toolbox always next to and I am not gonna pick out exercises for you just because “that’s what a good coach does” (again sign, for what my ego was trying to convince me of). Yes of course I will bring up exercises and yes of course I will have posts with a “how to” or “xx ways to” and a crystal clear message for them but only if I feel called to present that, only if my intuition tells me to, only if my inner wisdom brings that up.
So this all brings me back to this space. I am not sure what I can promise you about the content over the next months – oh yes, I know: I cannot promise you anything. Because I don’t know because I cannot predict the future. But I can tell you this: I made it my goal to step into my work, to be present and to share my light and writing is part of that. This desire will be shown in weekly blog posts just as I have done in the past few weeks. The change that I feel deep within might not even be visible for you, I don’t know, I’d love for you to give me feedback about it over the next few weeks, but the content will come even more from my heart then it did before. At least that is what I am hoping for. I am guessing it will involve a lot more personal content, personal stories and thoughts that I will share, which I am fine with, in all honesty, I don’t mind. Somehow I believe that in my stories all the wisdom lies, all the wisdom I am meant to share. And it is time to step into my light fully.
Butterfly. My word of 2018. And as I shared, part of it means this to me: rising above. Unleashing the power. Being who I am. No more holding back. Sharing my light.
So I guess all of this post is just showing how I will manifest that. And somehow it feels as if I am going back to the root of blogs: an online diary.
Funny enough as I am writing this a message did appear:
As I was thinking about numbers, and what they mean, peeled back, I realize that in fact, they are just the same as judgment or any opinion someone has and throws at you.
So if you don’t have a social media account, if that is not something you are daily confronted with, take other people’s opinions. Exactly the same as with social media numbers counts. Whether or not someone likes your outfit/the way you talk/the way you look/the job you work etc. doesn’t define if you are good or bad. If you like it, you like it and in your life that should be all that matters. And you can trust, that the moment you speak your truth the people who speak the same will be guided to you.
So here we had a message after all : )
I do not ever take you spending the time to read this for granted. So thank you. Deeply from my heart!
I am so excited where all of 2018 will guide us to.
I am sending you all the love!