This is one of my alltime favorite pictures of me this year. It might not be perfect and sharp, but it sums up so much for me this year: heart wide open, adventures, fun and laughter, silliness, taking a leap of faith, love, growth, trust and freedom.
It’s the day. The last day of 2017. Can you believe it? Somehow I can’t, somehow I can. I’ve been thinking a lot about those past 365 days in the last few weeks, about what has happened, about wounds that haven’t healed yet, the lessons I’ve learned, the thoughts I had and the things that have happened. And today, I am sitting here, listening to Ed Sheeran, freshly showered and ready to share with you a few my personal stories and all the lessons I have learned.
Somehow 2017 feels as if it was a year of endings and new beginnings. My life looked very different one year ago: I was in a wonderful relationship, I hadn’t started my teacher training yet but had made the decision to go back into teaching and I felt very lost in regards to my passion, my blog, my dreams. I was very very happy, yet very lost. Today, I am sitting here not in a relationship, still very happy and, and this is important to me, full of passion and a clear vision of where I want to head in the next 12 months.
Yesterday I read THIS article about what you were supposed to learn in the past years looking at your zodiac sign. It says for Pisces, my zodiac sign, for 2017 that “you were supposed to find passion again…This is the year you rediscovered what you really love…”. And this is exactly it. Exactly what happened in 2017. Of course, there was a lot more in the past12 months and I am excited to take a look with you at some of my personal milestones this year:
- Starting the teacher training
This was a big thing for me. While it was a decision I made in 2016, the whole thing started in 2017. Some of you might know the whole story – how I studied to become a teacher, failed in one of my final exams, totally left the “teaching world” for a few years thinking I would never ever go back again, and then slowly finding my way back to the teaching world. Here’s something I almost never ever share with you, it’s a decision I frequently struggle with, for a million reasons. I don’t want to go into it right now, I am sure I will one day, I’ll just want to tell you that it’s an area of life you rarely see, yet that is a constant area of learning, struggling, stress, and business.
- Starting the teacher training
- A very graceful breakup of a wonderful relationship
A very personal thing and something I keep very private. But yes there was a man by my side at the beginning of the year and we’ve had a beautiful relationship, a long-distance relationship which didn’t always make it easy, yet was wonderful in its way. For reasons I am not gonna go into here, we did have to end the relationship around Easter or so. While it sounds like a negative thing, which in a way it was, it was also an ending that couldn’t have happened with any more peace and grace. I knew I had to let him go in all of my heart and all of my body, that I could, that I could let him go. In this relationship, I didn’t just grow strong with him, I also grow strong with myself, my intuition and my faith in the Universe (more on that in point 6).
- Taking a leap of faith and starting to work as a life coach
Well, this is something, looking back now I don’t have the slightest idea how this has happened, and how I found the courage to step out and follow this call. While I don’t remember when or how I discovered “life coaches”, I still remember the feeling I had deep within. This longing, knowing that this was it. It happened years ago and ever since then, it had been an on and off dream if mine. As I said in the beginning of the post, one year ago I had felt very lost, but in all that happened in the first half of the year, I rediscovered my passion, my longing to create, to share my wisdom, to coach, to help and to inspire. All of this is so visible, so intense for me now, I cannot understand how I could ever question it. The time to take a leap of faith had been ripe, that’s the only way I can explain how I found the courage. Don’t be fooled, there have been years of learning and growing and figuring things out that in the end brought me here.
Taking this leap of faith was the most wonderful, empowering and eye-opening event in 2017. I am so so happy to be working as a life coach, to be working with you and to create a momentum step by step, little by little. And I am grateful, grateful for all the beautiful women who trusted me with their thoughts, struggles, and life in the past six months.
- Creating a very intense bond with a new friend
Some people come and go, but I believe this girl has come to my life to stay forever. She helped me to discover my light within. She held me in my arms as I was struggling with life. Her home was my rescue after the break of the relationship. She was there with me along every step that I took this year, cheering me on like no one else. While we are miles apart, our almost daily voice messages have helped us grow an intense bond. And all of that happened because I followed that inner call to reach out to her one day because I was struggling with a faith/belief question about A Course In Miracles. I remember how my ego was telling me that she wouldn’t want o to skype with me, her being all perfect and me just being this “little girl”, that it wasn’t safe to reach out to her, that I couldn’t do it. Instead of going with my ego, I followed my intuition instead. One moment of courage turned into the most wonderful friendship.
- A summer of travel and adventures
Ahhhh the summer. It was amazing. Filled with travels, visiting my soul sisters, adventures, taking risks, swimming in unknown waters, the ocean, my heart being wide open and working in my first coaching program. Oh, this summer was amazing. It was an amazing balance between work (meaning coaching) and a whole bunch of personal endeavors. Birthing new ideas, following my intuition, a little too much alcohol and longs nights maybe, being wild, dancing with the beat of my heart and letting myself flow wherever I was supposed to flow. My heart did get a little broken along the way and by the end of the summer, something happened that I truly struggled to understand and find my peace with. I’ll be honest, I still sometimes do, but the faith that this happened for a reason is getting stronger and stronger every day.
- Alignment, intuition and discovering faith
All of the challenges from this year, the little things and the big things, have let me to grow an even stronger connection with my intuition and yes also my faith in the Universe. It was the trust that all is working out as it’s supposed to, that I am guided, that the Universe has my back, that everything is happening for a reason, that helped me to overcome all the challenges. And without wanting to brag, I do think that I did a very good job when it comes to that. There were lots of moments I felt lost, confused, overwhelmed and sad, and it was meditation and speaking to my intuition that has saved my butt over and over again. Turning inward reconnected me to my own truth, helped me to find answers to the heart burning questions. And somewhere along the way, I promised myself to follow that voice within, this truth I am feeling.
And now I am asking you, what has happened in your life? Good or bad? Take the next pen and paper you have and scribble your thoughts down. Remember it doesn’t need to be perfect, it’s supposed to be fun. Just fun. Everything that has happened, good and bad, has brought you to where you are at right now, everything has had a lesson for you to learn. And here are the lesson’s I’ve learned this year:
- Follow and trust that deep voice within, it knows all the answers
I already told you how much I’ve grown the connection to listen within and I started to follow my inner call more and more. My ego does pop in and wants to tell me that it isn’t safe, but I know that it is. So much goodness has come out of me following this call: starting to coach, a breakup without hard feelings, growing a friendship, amazing adventures…the list is long. At the end of the day, all we truly need is a moment by ourselves, to turn inward and listen. Listen to the voice of our intuition, our inner wisdom which knows all the truth.
- Sometimes you don’t know and you have to stay in the in-between, as hard as it is sometimes
Did you catch it when I wrote above how by the end of the summer something happened that I had my hard time understanding? In that case, I struggled so much to trust, to see the good, to understand why something I’ve been wanting didn’t happen as I wished it would. I didn’t have the answer, and I was angry at the Universe for playing things out it did. I had to stay in the in-between phase, not knowing why it had happened and giving myself room to grief, to heal, and to process everything. I learned from this how much I, we, often push ourselves to be all fine again quickly, how we don’t give ourselves room to heal. So I began to try more and more to truly listen to my feelings, to my emotions, to let them be, to give them room. Taking as much time to heal as I need. I actually did already write about it in a post, which you can read about in THIS POST.
- A breakup (or any challenge) can happen in grace
This has been big. While the breakup happened unexpectedly for me and wasn’t my decision, within a weekend I had found my peace with it. I knew from deep within that I had to let him go. I knew and I trusted. Which brought me to experience this break up very calm, graceful and at peace – of course there were tears, and struggles and lonely nights in bed, but overall there was mostly compassion, understanding, peace, and grace. It also had me communicating the breakup this way. And there were people around me who didn’t trust my peace and grace, thinking I was suppressing emotions and feelings. Their words were pushing me to create drama (which of course I could have), to go with my ego big time, but I kept on trusting my intuition, knowing that all was well, that I wasn’t suppressing, that is was okay to experience this gracefully and at peace. So I did. And not in one single way did I suppress, or fooled myself. So whatever challenge happens I know that I have the strength, that you have the strength, to experience with peace and grace. It doesn’t have to be drama.
- Little by little adds up – allow the timing to be right
Because it does. The little things to add up. Bringing me back to my experience of starting to work as a life coach. It wasn’t something that happened overnight. While I had wished to work as a life coach five years ago, back then I just wasn’t ready. I know that now. And it’s something that counts for all of our dreams. I have big dreams, wanting them to happen yesterday instead of tomorrow, but I am reminding myself over and over again, that I need to trust that they will unfold when they are ready. So I am choosing slow, constant steps towards my dreams while having faith everything will unfold as its supposed to and that I will be guided to exactly where I need to be.
- It is the time to speak up
Oh yes, it is! It isn’t easy, Most definitely not. But I can feel in the depth of my heart that for me it is time to speak up. To stop holding myself back. To move forward no matter what anyone is doing around. To speak my truth. To share my light. And I took a first big step, when I shared THIS POST about trauma a little while ago, overcoming all the ego, all the wanting to hold back, to keep hidden. I rose above.
And this is pretty much. My year and a few of the big learnings. And I wonder, what were the lessons that you learned along the way out of challenges and amazing events? Again, maybe you want to grab pen and paper and write them down, or maybe even share with us in the comments below. Because I for myself know this: now that all of those thoughts are out of my system, I am ready to celebrate New Years, big time. And tomorrow will be all about that: 2018, my goals and my intentions. I cannot wait to share all of that with you too, because let me tell you this: I am pumped about the new year and cannot wait for it to start! Oh and I will be sharing a little project that will be starting tomorrow too. So excited!
Happy New Year!
Thank you for being with me throughout the last 365 day. Thank you for your support, love and encouragement. I love you!